I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry Lord, for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.
The Heart of Worship – Matt Redman
I’ve sung the song quoted above many, many times. I love the words. Yet, until earlier this week, I don’t think I fully comprehended their meaning. Sure, on a theoretical level I knew that following Jesus is not about getting a free pass to heaven, not about being relieved of hardship, not about trying not to sin, but rather about knowing and glorifying Jesus. I “knew” these things, but I didn’t know them.
Earlier in the week I read this article, entitled, “Jesus Never Said That”. By the time I had finished reading it, I felt like a miracle had occurred in my heart. A real and tangible change happened, and my perspective completely shifted.
For so long I have been striving. Striving to overcome strongholds that still remain in my life, striving to be successful, striving to be good. My prayers have consistently been along the lines of, “God, help me not to sin,” or, “Lord, please provide me with XYZ…” or, “Please heal me.” I’ve read the Bible out of a sense of duty, rather than out of a desire to know Jesus better. That’s not to say that I didn’t love Jesus, but that perhaps I loved Him more for what He did for me, rather than for who He is. But Jesus is not the means to some other end. He is the end (and the beginning).
I’ve tried to be a perfect wife – I failed. I’ve tried to be a perfect daughter – I failed at that too. In my pursuit of perfection, I have achieved nothing but failure. Yet, the grace of God frees me from the obligation of being perfect, so that I can instead rejoice in the perfection of Christ.
It goes without saying that I don’t want to sin, and that I want to do the will of God. But I find that the more I strive to do these things, the more I fail. Instead of praying for help not to sin, I want to dwell in the presence of Jesus. Instead of asking God to alleviate my suffering, I want to draw near to Him and let everything else evaporate in the light of Christ. He will work everything else out in me. He is faithful to bring the good work he has begun in me to completion. In my weakness, He is strong. In my failings, He is victorious. I want to love Him with all that I am, for all that He is. He is the goal.
Mali.xxx
Photo courtesy of Diorama Sky