Why You Won’t Hear Me Complaining About My Appearance

When I was younger, I was obsessed with my appearance. I know what you’re thinking – ALL teenage girls are obsessed with appearance. But this went beyond the normal teenage preoccupation with looks. I spent almost every waking moment thinking of ways to better myself physically. I struggled to enjoy time spent with friends, as I would constantly compare myself to them, find myself wanting, and thus spend the rest of the day feeling ugly and worthless. Many times I would opt to stay at home, reading trashy magazines and brainstorming ways to become more beautiful, rather than spending time socialising. I grew up in a seaside town, but can only recall two occasions where I actually went to the beach and wore swimwear along with my friends (I felt self-conscious the entire time). I wrote out multiple diet plans every day, was constantly wanting reassurance from everyone that I wasn’t disgusting, and spoke about my body as though it were my worst enemy. I was also sick a lot as a teenager, and am convinced that this was at least partly due to the resentment I held towards my body.

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To pull off the “Mali Pose”, cover as much of the face as possible, whilst maintaining eye-contact. (c. 2007)

I look back and cringe at some of the words I used to describe myself and this amazing body that God created. How awful, to declare that I hate my legs, when there are people who would give anything for a pair of healthy, functioning legs. How sad, to say that I hate my nose, when it enables me to breathe and smell the ocean and the flowers in my garden. What a shame, to complain about a little bit of fat on my stomach, which is there to protect the baby I will one day carry. How ridiculous, to dislike my eyes, when some people aren’t even able to see God’s beautiful creation around them. How ungrateful, to hate my mouth, when it allows me to do the very thing that brings me so much joy (singing). And what an absolute waste of life, to spend so much time thinking about something so completely temporal. This body of mine will (God-willing) get old, and will eventually die. But some things are eternal. Some things will not decay. This body is simply a tool – it should be looked after, nourished and nurtured, but it should not be an idol.

To the people who want to know if I’ve “let myself go”, I say yes and no. I’ve not stopped caring for my body – I try and stay as fit and healthy as possible, I eat well, I limit my exposure to toxic self-care products, I have good personal hygiene, etc. But in a sense I have let myself go, in that I’ve let myself go from the constant fear and anxiety that comes with being preoccupied with my appearance. Instead of spending my days obsessing about the way I look, I want to spend my days walking with Jesus and storing up treasures in heaven, because those are the things that will matter when my body is in the ground.

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To pull off the “Mali Pose 2.0”, relax, smile and enjoy life in the body you’ve been given. (c. 2013)

I’m not claiming to have it all together, but God has brought me a long way. I might not be overjoyed by my cellulite, but I sure do appreciate the body I’ve been given, for it is fearfully and wonderfully made, and it enables me to do all sorts of things that I never want to take for granted.

To those of you who are still struggling with this issue, I pray that you’ll find freedom. I understand the pain that comes with self-hatred, but I know that there is healing to be found in Jesus, whose physical body was marred beyond recognition on the cross. His love is not dependent on how pretty we are. His love is perfect. It is complete.

P.S. The declaration made in the title of this post is more of a goal than a promise. Please feel free to call me on it if you ever catch me going back on my word!

Tutorial Tuesday: How to Turn an Idea into a Song

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No video today, I’m afraid – I’m a little run-down! Instead, I thought I’d share a quick songwriting tip with you!

If you have a great idea for a song but just don’t know where to start, or you’re struggling to put your thoughts and/or feelings into any kind of poetic format, try starting with prose (i.e. “normal” writing, without any metrical structure).

If you want the song to be directed to someone in particular, write them a letter. If you’re just musing on a particular topic, write a journal entry or even a short essay. If you want your song to focus on a particular character or follow a specific narrative, try writing a short story first. You can then go back and highlight key words or phrases, and use them as the building blocks to create a song of the same topic. This method can also help you to articulate your thoughts better, which is essential if you want to transform an idea or concept into a song.

What methods do you use for turning an idea into something more tangible? Do find it easier to write poetry or prose? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

 

Photo courtesy of churl han

Five Reasons Why Songwriters Should Make Reading a Habit

To Kill a Mockingbird

I love to read. I read all kinds of books – fiction and non-fiction of various different genres. My favourite books to read are classic novels (particularly anything by Thomas Hardy), but I enjoy modern stuff too (if it’s well-written).

I think there are few disciplines as important to a songwriter as reading regularly. Here are five reasons why:

1. It increases your vocabulary. This is one of the main reasons I read classics. If you’re reading high-quality literature there are bound to be words that are new to you cropping up regularly. Keep a dictionary handy (or download one to your Kindle/iPad/whatever electronic device you use for reading) and look up any words you’re unsure of. The wider your vocabulary, the more options you will have when choosing ways to convey your message in a song.

2. It will give you a better command of the English language (or whatever language you’re reading and writing in). Reading well-written books and articles will give you a better understanding of the various ways in which words can be strung together in order to relate an event/concept/meaning to the reader/listener. This will empower you to develop your own creative voice and find a unique way of saying what you want to say.

3. It can provide inspiration. There’s nothing to stop you basing an entire song on a story that already exists in a book. This has been done tons of times by various artists and is totally legit, so long as you don’t actually lift phrases or quotes directly from the book. Alternatively, perhaps a book will inspire you in a more subtle way. Either way, inspiration is something that nearly all of us could do with a little more of!

4. It stimulates the imagination. As songwriters, we are also storytellers, and all good storytellers need to nurture their imaginations. Reading is one of the best ways of doing this, as your imagination has to do a fair amount of work to fill in the sensory blanks. You can’t actually see what’s happening in the story (as you can when watching a movie), so you have to build a mental picture.

5. It’s relaxing. Stress is the enemy of inspiration and productivity (for most people – there are some who thrive under pressure, but even they will benefit from regular unwinding). In order to open our minds to new ideas, we need to be calm and relaxed. How can inspiration get a foot in the door if our heads are cluttered with anxiety and useless information? Reading is a great way to de-stress and focus your attention on one single thing (as long as you’re reading something you enjoy!).

So, whatever your preferred genre, I recommend you make reading a daily habit. It will make you a better songwriter!

Inspiring Artist of the Week: Joni Mitchell

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I’ve been a fan of Joni Mitchell since I was 15. I even performed a cover of Same Situation in one of my high school assemblies, as well as at a school concert held in a church building. People giggled at the words, “sex appeal”.

The first Joni album I owned was Court & Spark. I fell in love with the poetry and the unusual musical arrangements. Today, I’d like to share with you some of my favourite lines from various Joni Mitchell songs:

I remember that time you told me, you said, “love is touching souls”, well surely you touched mine
‘Cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time.
A Case Of You

Call her Green, and the winters cannot fade her
Call her Green, for the children who have made her
Little Green (This song was written about the daughter she gave up for adoption as a teenager.)

Nobody stopped to hear him
Though he played so sweet and high
They knew he had never been on their TV
So they passed his music by
For Free

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StugAUy7hsc

I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
River

You’ve had lots of lovely women, now you turn your gaze to me
Weighing the beauty and the imperfections, to see if I’m worthy
Like the church, like a cop, like a mother, you want me to be truthful
Sometimes you turn it on me like a weapon though, and I need your approval
Same Situation

One minute she’s so happy, then she’s crying on someone’s knee
Saying, “Laughing and crying, you know it’s the same release”.
People’s Parties

Everything comes and goes
Marked by lovers and styles of clothes
Down To You

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away
Both Sides Now

I could go on all night. And there are so many Joni albums that I haven’t even listened to yet, so I know that there’s many more gems out there for me to discover. In the meantime, I hope the words above leave you feeling inspired!

 

Photo courtesy of Sue Hasker – Away for a while

Learning To Trust

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I’m learning to breathe, I’m learning to crawl
I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall…”
Learning to Breathe, Switchfoot (written by Jon Foreman)

Every now and then, when I think about the future, I panic. I worry that one day some major tragedy will befall me and I won’t be able to cope. I’ve prayed to God to please not let such terrible things ever happen to me. How has God answered those prayers? By telling me to trust Him.

It sounds so simple. It actually is simple, but it’s not easy. Still, I’m learning, slowly, to trust that whatever happens in my life, God is good, and He loves me.

In this life, we will endure hardship – but God works everything together for the good of those who love Him. He never gives us more than we can handle, and He is with us in the very depths of our despair. Trusting in His absolute goodness brings absolute freedom.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

– Psalm 23, NIV

Photo courtesy of willowmina